The Need To Give And Receive Attention

By admin / March 11, 2012

The need for attention is acknowledged by most and yet also feared at times. There are of course times in everyone’s existence when you would like to avoid attention, stay in the background or slip from a room unnoticed. Yet in the main to gain attention is a primary need in life.

From the moment we are born we need attention. Babies need to be fed, changed, communicated with and cuddled. From a baby’s perspective, attention means survival. It is not enough to just be provided with food and material necessities; cuddles, eye contact and emotional acknowledgement are also a vital part of a baby’s world.

These latter characteristics remain vitally important as we grow into adulthood. We need to be acknowledged. We need to be seen and valued as an individual. Our sense of self is built upon a basis of understanding how others respond to us and react to us. We can see through interactions with others whether we are liked, considered important or deemed to be "good".

If as a child you are afforded plenty of positive attention it follows that your own concept of your self worth is most likely to be pretty robust. But if you have been in the main ignored or pushed to one side your self worth is likely to be low and vulnerable.

There is also the possibility that you were afforded attention as a child of a negative variety, and through these circumstances you could perhaps have built some inner strength and the ability to fight for yourself. Negative attention has time and again been shown to be better than no attention.

We know that childhood experience impacts greatly upon our sense of self and the things we learn as a child tend to run deep and be difficult to shake off. Beliefs formed during childhood become an integral part of who we are, what we expect and how we act and behave. These are automatic and instinctive thoughts and behaviors. They are stored deep in the subconscious mind.

It is therefore not surprising to see similar patterns surfacing in different relationships. This is a really good thing when those patterns are positive and powerful. If however those patterns create disruptive and difficult circumstances within your relationships it becomes important to step back and identify what could perhaps be changed.

Despite popular belief you can change those deep-rooted beliefs and behaviors. You do not have to be stuck with them. You can change your inner thoughts, emotions and actions so long as you really want to. Hypnosis makes the process quicker and easier as it provides access to your subconscious mind. With hypnosis you can create a new set of personal constructs that enable you to view yourself and the world in a different light and create good relationships.

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