When a man tries to imagine how a woman will think, act and feel based on his own understanding he will likely find himself confused.
Does this really mean that men do not understand women all that well? I would argue that men largely do understand women. In fact, modern day men probably are right up at the top, as compared to previous generations of men, when it comes to intuitively understanding women. However, there are different types of understanding and this illustrates both the problem and the solution to adapting.
Modern men do reasonably well at intuitively understanding what a woman needs, and when and how she wants attention. The communication between genders is highly evolved. Some people might not agree with this. After all, there is the whole “mystery” thing that attracted your attention to this article in the first place. If you are reading this then you probably agree with the statement: “I want to understand communicating with women better.”
The inherent problem in making sense of women is when men attempt to apply how men look at the world to how women act and extrapolate what causes them to act that way. The problem, the mystery, occurs when men attempt to understand women using the worldview that allows them to understand men. They apply the wrong key to try to understand the code. Men see that women have a complex and highly developed way of making sense of the world but they have a hard time predicting women’s behavior under a wide range of circumstances.There is a lot that we can understand by looking at behaviors of larger groups as a whole under similar circumstances over time.
Does that mean that each individual woman does not know herself what triggers her own interest in an individual man? Well, in part, yes it does mean that. Women filter their experiences through imagined emotion in a way that is not necessarily intuitive to men. Each woman’s emotional response is not predetermined, at least not in a way that she can reference and say, “OK, that’s what to expect.” Their emotional response to a situation, in particular to a man, is not always going to coincide with how she thought she would react. Maybe it is mysterious, and then again maybe not entirely so.
Men and women imagine themselves in the world differently. This is not a bad thing, and in fact, it is a part of what helps to make life interesting. Think about it; if women always behaved the way you expected them to it would be pretty boring. The excitement of finding new insights about people you have just met or are getting to know better can be some of the most interesting parts in your life’s journey. Like it or not you are going to have to accept that any particular woman may not act the way you predict.
That uncertainty can create uncomfortable feelings when dealing with women. The feeling that you want to meet someone new and interesting but you have doubts about how it will turn out can be very frustrating. For some men the uncertainty and doubt created by past failures becomes terrifying enough that they find the girl they thought they always wanted. If you are reading this then chances are you want to learn more about what causes confusion and how you can master you own outlook.
Please continue on to the next article part three.
Copyright Arcmission Productions 2011
Stirling Grey is an author and researcher with Arcmission Productions.
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